Saturday, 20 June 2009

Remove head from onus kthx

Tomorrow I'm off to London, and on Monday I shall be returning to Team PCZ to ooze sexuality at them and smother them in Braxline goodness. Come on Dave, you know you want it.

Anyway, this week in a new series I'd like to call Americans Trying Too Hard, "Tycho" from Penny Arcade once again rapes the English language -

"...I can't actually enunciate a clear onus that would culminate in your purchase..."

Mate, seriously, you can't expect to "enunciate" anything clearly with your head so firmly entrenched between your own buttocks. In all honesty, I don't think I've ever read beyond the first paragraph of a Penny Arcade article without feeling my brain start to trickle from my ears and nose.


Don't get me wrong; I love Americans. They're awesome. But my GOD, when they start to think that their grasp on the English language is anything other than tenuous...the pain of it. It's like when a friend gets all intellectual down the pub, finds a fancy word "dichotomy", and tries to crowbar it into every sentence. It's the very zenith of facepalmery.

Urgh, now I'm doing it. Who the fuck says "zenith"?

You know, I think there was a character in Unreal Tournament called "Zenith". Can you imagine what a twat he'd be in conversation?

"My name is Zenith. Because I am."
"You am what?"
"The Zenith."
"Is your head pointy or something?"

- Brax


  1. Yes, totally right. Eurgh.

    I usually like the comic at least (I mean, compare that day's strip with Tycho's post. Could they be any different?), but this Monday's really rankled with me.

    I mean, I get the joke: this second-rate Warcraft magician attempts to do a bit of stage sorcery to get some cash, it goes spectacularly wrong, and he's literally run out of town.

    What made the strip completely unfunny was the panel showing what went wrong: he set a woman's hair on fire and then stabbed her with an icicle.

    Now, if she had a completely over-the-top death, like exploding, that would've been funny. If they hadn't shown the woman actually dying and just shown the reactions, i.e. been subtle, that would've been funny too. They went for neither, and the results were deeply uncomfortable.

    I'm not the only one who didn't like it, either. That strip was part of three 'experimental' comics which could potentially spawn an ongoing story, and PA readers could vote for the one they liked best to continue.

    This particular experiment bombed so dramatically that they had to re-do the vote with it removed so the few people who DID vote for it would be given a chance to vote for the other two instead.

  2. I'd like to get this guy in a room along with the bloke who made Braid and see what happens.

  3. The universe would BSOD from pretention overload.

  4. I'm gonna get me some pensils and some of them fancy colour sticks, and make me a picture book.