Sunday, 16 August 2009

The Devil Vs The Tingler

You know, I was ready to come here and do a big post about Bobby "CEO of Activision, Blizzard, Sierra, and Hell" Kotick's latest affront to gaming, in which he claims that people are happy with existing franchises and you don't need new IP. But then I started worrying about my immortal soul.

Now, this was going to be a big rant about how Call of Duty isn't that old a franchise really. Furthermore if people don't inevitably get bored with a franchise some company will come along and do it better and more excitingly - which is exactly what Call of Duty did to the formally popular Medal of Honour franchise. Finally, if you don't create new games, where are these magic "old" franchises coming from?

But you know what? I'm not like that. I wouldn't even call Mr Kotick the stupidest most money-grabbing arrogant over-confident CEO prick who's ever put stupid word to mouth. Let's look at his exact words:

"A small segment of very vocal gamers say everything has to be new and different every year. Actually, people are happy with existing franchises, provided you innovate within them."

You see, perfectly reasonable. It's totally true about innovating with franchises. Look at Super Mario for example, he's been going strong since the '80s and people still get excited about his latest games.

Unfortunately, Activision doesn't innovate. Modern Warfare 2, as good as it may be, is not going to innovate. The most innovative thing about World At War was the Nazi Zombies mode, and that only came with one map. And as for Guitar Hero... don't make me laugh.

The most innovative game from Activision this year was, surprise surprise, an original game: Prototype.

More to the point, we're happy with innovation in existing franchises. I agree with that statement. I'm looking forward to Thief 4, Fallout: New Vegas, Deus Ex 3, Doom 4, Mass Effect 2, and indeed Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. The trouble is I'm more looking forward to Borderlands, Dragon Age: Origins, Rage, Alpha Protocol, Scribblenauts, and Batman: Arkham Asylum (technically a franchise, but the first in a proper Batman series anyway).

Oh, fuck it, what am I on about? This guy's Satan and he's only saying this stuff to make excuses for pumping out the same shit every year and inflating the price for each instalment. Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 in 2011 will cost £70, you mark my words. Go back to Hell, Kotick.

Bobby Kotick pictured in his usual office under the Earth's crust.

- Chris Capel

Thursday, 13 August 2009

Wot is Welsh?

Wales. Yeah, apparently it is in fact a real place inhabited by like five or six people. I'm as surprised as you are. I always thought "Welsh" was just a funny accent, and a word you might use to describe the clearing of your throat, but apparently it's a real language that people actually speak. In the mythical land of Wales. All five or six of them.

Anyway, apparently the five or six people in Wales who actually speak this strange language, "Welsh", would like a particular popular computer game to be translated into their native language.

So, I find myself wondering...of these five or six mythical "Welsh" people, how many of them actually speak Welsh? And how many of those don't actually speak English?

- Brax

Tuesday, 4 August 2009

Genesis of the Tingler

Here is my online name's origin story.

I wish horror films were still made like this. It certainly deserves to be counted as one of the Top 20 Most Dangerous Films ever made. Out of that list, it's the only movie that's ever physically attacked the audience!

Sunday, 2 August 2009

I fucking love Plants Vs Zombies

Anyone who's been on a game site in the last couple of months can't have failed to notice the ads for a crappy game called Evony. Not that the game itself is worthwhile in any way (being a shit Civilisation rip-off that charges you for play), but the ads themselves have actually drawn more criticism than the game itself. The game doesn't even really feature women at all, let alone Nuts models to save.

Fortunately though, PopCap have noticed all this and responded in the best way possible with their latest ad campaign for Plants Vs Zombies:

- Chris C